T is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved before?

I love you. One of the most common phrases used by humans on a daily bases. Heartache is something we have all felt or are going to feel at one stage in our lives, so is saying those three words to a loved one really worth it? We are unable to know how things will plan out so is it better to open ourselves up to someone knowing that they can hurt you so badly at any given time and leave you with your wounds wide open… loving someone and being loved in return is an indescribable feeling that everyone wants and talks about but the second we get hurt, we say we should have never felt so deeply for a person.

‘Never mind I’ll find someone like you.’ These wise words from Adele were taken from one of her love songs, Someone like you. Powerful lyrics from a powerful woman however this line is saying that when someone hurts you, rips your heart in two, it’s ok because we can just go out and find someone else like that person and have the same relationship as we did before just with another person. ‘Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.’ Love is an unpredictable feeling. It happens when it happens and we cannot control the emotion or how the situation plans out. Sometimes a spark turns into love which lasts forever like fairy tales and other times it comes crashing to the ground effecting the people’s hearts and souls. ‘I wish nothing but the best for you.’ Once we love someone, we will always care about them regardless of how badly things ended. Memories stay in our hearts forever and Adele shows this in her song and makes her listeners realise that when it comes to love we cannot be sure how it will end but the relationship was a learning lesson for you regardless of how it ends up. The pain will ease when we find someone has the good qualities of the person we were with before and have new qualities which we learn to love and cherish.

‘Many years from now, will you still be sending me a valentine…’ The Beatles wrote a song called When I am sixty Four.  They have to be one of the best bands ever and even they have doubts about love. Relationships take time, energy, passion and trust. We may be head over hills for someone but at the back of our minds, we are for ever wondering if it is going to last. We are always scared that we will wake up the next morning at the person who you love, will no longer be there for us because not only do we change but love changes as well.  Love is unpredictable; we are not sure where the passion is going. We make plans with our loved ones, family and friends but we are not sure if the plans are going to go through. We are constantly asking for reassurance. ‘Will you still need me; will you still feed me when I’m sixty four?’

Phil Collins has a song called Groovy kind of love. This song is the reason we are understand love is true and worth it. “When I’m feeling blue all I have to do is take a look at, then I’m not so blue…baby you and me, we got a groovy kind of love.” on a day whereby we are sad or need a lift, the person who you truly love will make you feel better. A mere memory or a feeling you felt with that person will make you smile. That person, who you love, makes the whole world seem like a better place and a place where anything is possible. This song will turn haters of love into believers of love and will make you realise that a love you have for someone is worth more than any bad in the world.

It takes you less than a second to tell someone you love them but it takes a life time to prove it. We fall in love quickly or at least we think we are in love and then when the hard times come, most of the time the person who you love leaves because it is too hard for them to stay due to the effort it requires. Thousands of poems, songs, books, movies and more are written about love and how marvellous it is and in the same breath, they write about how horrible it is and how we should never love so that we don’t feel the same pain or that the person was never right for us and was a total waste of time. Truth is, love is hard and we go into relationships knowing we can get hurt. We know that one day love may not be enough or that we love someone so much that it hurts.

You have yet to live until you feel love. Going through life without loving someone is torture. Life is meant to be enjoyed and one of the aspects of life is to love. Love is a learning curve and when you lose someone you once loved just shows you that you can pick yourself and dust yourself off.  Love gives you a warm feeling in your tummy and knowing you are loved allows you to sleep sound at night. Love constantly needs to be worked on and looked after just like a tree needs to be cared for and watered, love needs to be fed with passion, communication and warmth and when it is gone, you feel cold and realise what you have lost however you know you have to ability to love and that ability will never die which means you can love again once you have lost.

I believe it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before. Love lifts us up to where we belong. All we need is love.


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