Time to offload

Good evening viewers.

I am sorry for what I am about to post but today I have been a punching bag and I need somewhere to offload it to and I cannot think of a better place than here.

Firstly, I start finals tomorrow. Yes I have done one already but this one seems more like a final than my last one. I won’t lie I am a bit excited to write these finals and get it over and done with but at the same time, I am beyond scared right now. These marks and exams will determine my future. This is what I have been told for the past year and now the time is finally here for me to sit down and write them… Scary to think how fast the year has gone.

Today we were shown a video from our grade 8 year. This was a shock and a half and the whole of the matric body, linked arms and cried as we watched this. 5 years of our lives are coming to an end and we cannot stop the train for a little bit. Full steam ahead we go…

To brighten up school, I get to close a chapter and start a new one. I think I am ready for what life has in store but I know that no matter what happens, I will always have my lil sis, family and friends and honestly I do not feel like I need anything more to get me through the next few months.

Dancing is amazing. Been given a opporunity to dance in a hair show. I am very excited about that but at the same time, I am having trouble with dance as one girl is making it very hard for me to teach and to show people my passion and to pass it on. Time for a detox!!!! I have to get rid of all the bad in order to let the good in.

For some reason, I seem to be missing Ryan a lot. Not sure why… Think it is to do with the fact that once matric is over, I feel like I am leaving him behind in a way. I am leaving his tree and our room. School was what made me find him and now I am leaving it. Stupid thought I know because he will live on in my memories and my heart but the only physical things I have of him is at school and in my space case. The last night I ever saw him, was New Years and for some unknown reason, I kept the bottle cap of the last drink we had together. When he died, I poked a hole in it and put it on a chain.

Even though my feelings right now are mixed and confusing, I still love my life and the people in it because at the end of the day people come and go in our lives to make us the people we are meant to be.

Have a good night and will post when I can

Ash

xxx

 

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