You can forgive but never forget

Hello viewers

It has been a very long time since we last spoke but don’t worry I am here to update you on the latest issues in my life…

I have come to realise that one I consider someone my sister, it is very hard for me to let go of that person even if it is the right thing for me to do. Truth is, I cannot give up on anyone that has made their way into my heart no matter how much they have hurt me. I have always been the type of person to forgive and see the good in people even if it is the smallest thing such as they love animals but are bullies, or they have ripped my heart in two but they once made me smile. I have a feeling I am about to learn a lesson the hard way…

See I have many siblings. 2 biological ones, a sister who I call Shmoobear and a brother who is Samalee. They are always there for me and yes they drive me mad but I love them so much and would do anything for them. I have twin older sisters who I consider blood, I have another older sister who was there for me when I had my car crash, and another little sister who I call lil sis and she is my other half! She is one of the most amazing people put on this earth and I thank G-D for her every single day. Right so that is my happy family of mine. I have another person in my life who is an older sister to me but has not been there for me the way the others have.

I am all for turning over a new leaf and second chances but how many second chances are there? I have tried so many times and I keep on getting burnt by her. We make arrangements, she doesn’t come and then blames me for not talking to her or being there for her. What am I meant to do? I can only put my hand out but it is up to her to grab on. I may be strong and I may be able to help people out with pretty much anything as long as I put my mind to it but for some reason, I cannot get through to her and I cannot see into her mind anymore. That is what scares me the most. I used to be able to know her inner most thoughts but now I don’t and I am not sure how to get back there. I feel like I am lost at sea and as the sharks circle me, I cannot find a way out…

I know I will and I know what is meant to happen will happen but right now I feel as if I am letting our past get in the way. I forgive everything that happened but I cannot forget.

Ash

xxx

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