Mom in school uniform and I am all grown up…

Hey guys

Been awhile I know and I am sorry but truth is I just have not had the brain to write lately. I am not sure why. I guess I just have not had the inspiration to write or the courage to show myself how I was or am really feeling.

About five minutes ago my mother came to me and asked me for my school uniform because they are all going to work in school uniforms. My heart got flooded with about a thousand emotions. I have not warn my school uniform since the last exam I wrote in school uniform which was the 21st of November 2012. HOW SCARY IS THAT???? Anyway back to my heart. The thought of her in my uniform and me not in it is actually making me sad. I hung up my uniform last year and I have now got a new one which I will be wearing for the rest of my life. Well the style of it anyway. So as I place my matric jersey on, I get flooded with memories. stories, tears I shared, tears I caused and of course my roots. Took me 12 years to get that jersey and it took forever to get it but was taken from me quickly. I now see the new matrics in their jerseys and I cannot help but smile because I know what it feels like to wear it. Gives you a sense of pride and achievement. So for the first time this year my uniform will be warn tomorrow but not by me…

College is very hard at the moment. I am loving it very much and the challenge is fun but I guess I am just missing being little. I miss my school friends chilling by our table, laughing or walking around in a circle for no reason. I miss my Friday songs that we would write and picking flowers to rip apart in front of my little sister. I miss her hugs every morning and her smile when I am down. I spoke to an old class mate today. She was saying how weird it is not being in each other’s pockets and knowing every little detail. She said something that we just need to get used to this new life of ours and deal with the loss of some friendships. I don’t talk to most people from my school year and when I see them in a shop, we talk as if we never left. And then it hits me

No matter how much time my grade spends apart, we will always be Matric 2012! We will always have a tie to each other and we can still talk as if we were back in the same class. Truth of the matter is no matter how far apart we are or how old we get, we will always have the same roots and always be a Davidian. I am now just adding on to who I am. I am a health and skin care specialist in training and loving every moment. Still have the clicks in college and the bitches and nerds. I still love to party and I am still the person everyone turns to when they need a quick answer or someone to listen to them. Difference is: Instead of me hugging my sister in the morning, I bbm her and sit in my car whilst listening to our Torch. People know not to bug me in the morning when I am in my car because it is my time with my sister. I don’t get to see my school friends as much anymore but we get together as often as possible and we get to catch up and learn new things and get to hear how their lives are. When I am with them, feels like we still in school because we can still talk rubbish and they all comment the same way that they used to.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the paths I have chosen and how they have effected my life. I have been saying the what if’s and if I chose this instead of that where would I be right now? Truth is I would not change a thing! I am a big sister to three amazing little siblings and they will always be little in my eyes. The paths I have chosen have allowed me to advise them on the do’s and don’ts because I have been down the wrong path and I have given into peer pressure and so on. I do not regret anything in my life and I know I can only get stronger.

So as my mom get’s into my school uniform, I will be getting into my college uniform and as weird and sad as it is, at least the uniform that got me through hell and gave me my sister, it can have one last journey.

Ash
xxx

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