Need a place to belong

Hey guys. Here is a thought that has been lingering around my head for weeks now and it is time that I put it out there.

My whole school career I always had my space. It just gave me a sense of belonging. A place to go to catch my breath and to get away for 5 minutes just to recharge and to gather my thoughts.
hours
Nursery school, I used to sit in our tree house and watch the people go by as I counted to ten to calm myself down otherwise I would have bitten more than one child during nursery school.

Junior school, my best friend and I found a bench behind all the classrooms. We would go there when we were sad because we were surrounded by pretty flowers and there were no boys who were trying to kiss us. Ok, so we both had boyfriends but we needed time outs so we would go there. We would talk about our dreams and so on. I wanted to be a dustbin lady at that age. The thought of driving and making my mom run behind the truck used to kill me. Sounded perfect.

Primary school came along and my rebel stage began. We bunched class and hid in the Blind Spot. The older we got, the more professional our hiding spots got and all the people who used to bunk, would write their names on the wall. I think my name is still there.

Then high school hit and my room was created. One day my best friend and I were bunking and the student leaders were walking in and out of the bathrooms so our usual spot was compromised and we ran into a storage looking room. Ever since that day, it became our room. When he died it became my room and now its my lil sis and my room.

We became so pro at bunking. There were a bunch of us who used to bunk and we had our own bathroom stall to run into when we needed to hide. We used to draw and write on the walls and make it our own. We were so proud of our Goth Tinkerbell. Took us 4 hours!!! We bunked an assembly to do that piece of art and now it is gone(sad face)

As I got older and more involved with my marks and I actually started to care about my future, I would bunk less but I still used to go to my room during breaks or before class just to gather my thoughts and to block people out so that I could figure out what I wanted and not what my friends and teachers wanted.

Now I am at college and it’s not that I want to bunk classes that I don’t like because I am doing things I want to do but I need my space. I need to feel like I belong somewhere in this college besides for the classrooms.

My car has become my thinking space. My time to spend just with my little sister.(yes on bbm but still) But I still need my something. I feel like I am missing a room or a garden chair but I am missing something.

I know I will find or maybe I have already found it… Truth is there is not one person in my life that I can replace. My sense of belonging comes in when my heart feels at home and in a place where it belongs. My place where I belong is with my family. My parents, 3 siblings and my grandparents. Yes my cousins too but I don’t need anything else and I am searching or was searching for something that I already have.

I am right where I need and want to be. College is a place whereby my career is going to start but not end. My heart has come from my family and it will continue to grow and love for as long as I have my family in my life.

Something to reflect on your life…

Ash
xxx

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