Long week

Hey guys

It has been a very long and hard week! I am in the middle of exams and I am nearing the end of them but the closer I got to the end, the closer to Anatomy I got. Now I am not your scholar type person. I don’t spend hour after hour studying and have no social life and so on but I do my fair share of work and I get through. Ok so about now my little sister will be telling me that I am talking absolute shit because I get high marks and I am a genius.

Truth of the matter is: my brain just gets the subjects I am getting. I listen and work in class and relate my work to things that mean a lot to me. So I relate it to memories I have of my siblings or dreams I once had and so on. When I do this, I get my work and that is my secret to my marks. I make them stick in my mind because of my frequent thoughts of my family and friends and past.

Lately, I have not been having a fun time. Life is hard and demanding and everyone is in exam brain and my brain doesn’t understand this so working is hard for me at the moment. Everyone is putting pressure on each other and in between it all I am working to get money to save up for new sound in my car or new equipment for my camera. I have not stopped and I am drained and burning out a bit I won’t lie. Only time I get quiet time with my thoughts is at night and those at the moment seem to turn into nightmares.

I dream about my work, now that is sad! and I dream that I fail. Now I am no stranger to failing. I used to fail all the time! I barely past the first few years of high school but I got my act together and started to work and well I passed matric with good marks and I got into the course I wanted to and now I am getting high marks in my future. That is beyond scary for me! I need to do well so that I don’t disappoint anyone. My whole family believes in me so much that I am afraid to disappoint them and I want to do well for me and for them. I want to make everyone proud of me and not ashamed.

I work well under pressure. I guess that is why I am able to do what I can do. All the first aid and working with pictures that people will look at for the rest of their lives as they look back on their wedding. Pressure and me are normally friends. We work hard and hard with each other but right now, having the pressure and not having memories to relate my work to… not sitting well in my brain at the moment but hey, I just have to think harder and more out the box. Nothing like a challenge to keep my brain active.

Anyway, those were my thoughts the whole of last night. My advice to you all: take a break and start looking at the good and realizing that life isn’t all about marks or money. Life is about creating memories and being there for family when they need you. End of the day, we were given our family for a reason and family isn’t only blood but is also the people we choose to be in our lives for life. Those bonds don’t happen over night. They take time and effort and they are worth more than anything else in this world.

Time to concentrate on what is important and stop focusing on the bad and less important things.

Ash
xxx

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