Posts Tagged ‘anger’

Words mean so much and yet so little

Hey guys.

Have you ever sat and listened to the words that people use during your conversations and wonder why they use those particular words to tell you how they feel?

I have been doing a lot of thinking recently and have come to the conclusion that when people speak out of anger or with passion, they tend to use the words from deep within their soul: ‘I just can’t find the time’, ‘You never there for me’, ‘Time does not wait for anyone.’ ‘If you want it enough, you will make the time’ and so on.

People seem to change their minds of the words they use when they don’t have the time to think their answer through. I like to think that the answers that come from deep within and the raw feelings mean more to the person than the answers that they have thought about.

They say that when you are intoxicated, you tend to say exactly how you feel in a situation about a person or your surrounding and I honestly believe that this is true. I also believe that when you speak out of passion or anger, you mean what you say using the words that you always wanted to use.

Words hurt people in more ways than you realise. As true as the words are, your choice of words is what can harm a person not always what you trying to say or the tone that you are using but the words you use to tell them.

Take a step back and look at the words you using to tell someone how you feel and why you feel it. Have a look at the word choice and realise why it is you said that particular word.

Words can mean so much when said from the heart and so little when said out of guilt.

Have a great day



Trigger Point

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

I feel like a trigger point.
Hidden deep inside the muscle.
I’m larking around waiting…
waiting to be heard.

Everything around me is tense.
Everything is out of place and red.
Their voice is being heard
but I’m still waiting.

I’m slowly being covered up.
It’s like the roof and walls are closing in.
Now I’m even deeper down
and I don’t think I’m going to be heard.

My rage builds up
and I cause enough pain.
Enough to be healed
but finally heard

Some things you just cannot fix

Hey guys

A few years ago I wrote a thesis about family and I said that it was like a broken plate and that if you want to, you can glue it back together. Won’t be the same but it will still be together… Well guess what, I lied…

Some plates cannot be fixed. Some are just so far gone that no amount of glue can hold it together. Some family fights are just so big that you just cannot fix it and see eye to eye and often the problem is not the siblings but the spouses that come with it.

I am heart broken and I cannot bare the thought of having a wedding without my family there but I guess sometimes, you just need to accept your losses and move on. Rough I know But these are words of a person who just cannot try anymore. 12 years ago, I was in a car accident and I was in hospital for a bit. I was 8 years old and some of my uncles did not come and see me. I thought it was my fault and ever since then, my family has not been the same. Turns out it was not my fault at all but at the time, that is what I felt.

I have done everything I can to try glue this plate together but I am not winning and I am HURTING BADLY because of it. So that is me… I am putting the brush down and letting it be. I cannot fight anymore because I am tired and hurt. I thought it would be ok but maybe not. I don’t wish them harm. I love them all even though I don’t know them

Do yourself a favour… If your plate is broken, understand that it can only be fixed if the pieces want to work with the glue and think about your actions before you exclude people from a big family event

Say no to bullying

Good evening all my gorgeous viewers

So I would firstly like to thank you all for reading my blog and for going on all my life journeys with me. I am glad that I have a place whereby I can say what I am thinking and people are willing to listen. If I have not been able to reach you with my writing I am sorry but I am going to try reach everyone with me new post…

We have all had that one person that makes our body go cold at the thought or mention of their name. You know, that person that bullied you into giving you their lunch money or pushing you around to the point whereby you do not want to see their face or even be in the same room as them? Ya those people… well it is time to put this madness to an end!

Brave hearts is an NGO that helps people deal with bullies and allows them to learn with it and move on. Emotional pain lasts forever where as physical can heal up but the hurt and memories last forever. Now I am not one of those who write about the bad and the darkness but this is a serious problem that needs to be solved now and we are starting this off with a friendship bracelet… Bravehearts will be at Carnival City on the second of October 2014 in conjunction with EFC South Africa, we are starting to create awareness and stop bullying dead in its tracks. We will be selling 2 orange ribbons. One will be for you and the other you are going to give to someone else. A friend, someone you meet in the streets and so on. It is time that we all stand together and show all the bullies out there that we are no longer afraid and we are proud of who we are!

I wear my orange ribbon with pride. It is time that you do too

Back to the cocktail I go

Hey guys

So this is a mixed post. Time to just let go of my brain and type from the heart…

For the first time today I let go of a time in my life and shared it with my other half. I have been carrying this around with me for a very long time and I have wanted to share this with her for as long as I can remember. I just never had the guts to do it. Don’t ask why but I guess I felt like she might look at me differently. Last night I realised that it was time she knew about it, just had to find the right time to tell her… Don’t know why I was scared to tell her but I am very glad I did.

Today a family member told me something that made my heart sink and made my anger towards her rise to a point where instead of saying something, I just shut my mouth and have yet to say a word… I am the type of person who shows my love for people and if I love you, I don’t want people to think like I don’t. So all my close girl friends, I hug them or kiss them on the cheek. My one friend and I dance together in a club like a couple of weird people. That is just how I am and most of my friends are like that too. Just because we hug or whatever does not mean I have feelings for them! Just means that I am not afraid to show people how much they mean to me.

On Thursday a so-called friend spoke badly about me behind my back. She was not very clever because she did it over BBM and I saw what she had said. Girls here is some advice: Don’t say things over BBM, Facebook, Twitter or any Social site that you would not want the other person or people to see. Truth is that other person is most likely going to show someone else what you said and it is going to come back and bite you in the ass. So just think about that the next time you lie about someone.

The guy in my life is very sweet. He makes me blush more than anyone has ever made me blush before. He is kind and caring and yes he has a bad side and yes I have seen it but the good cancels out the bad in this situation… Is that a good or bad thing? I am not sure but all I know is; we are taking it slow and I am happy with the direction we are going in.

That’s my thoughts for the past hour…

Have a good one

Time for people to realise what they say hurts

My topic tonight angers me to the point whereby I cannot bear to speak anymore. Then you know it is bad!

I would like to start off by saying that verbal abuse is worse than physical in some aspects. Wounds heel but your memory remains.

People are big shots when they can type out a message or 7 and send them to someone to make them feel bad about themselves or to make them doubt their decisions. What you over the net, bbm or any other source od media is hurtful and is worse than saying it in person. You need to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for one second and see the story from their light! sometimes people cannot do things because of time or they are scared or they simply do not want to have anything to do with what is going on. DO NOT bite their heads off because they are not happy and do not use a death to justify your reason for attacking!!!!!!

Only those who knew a person before he/she was dead can say they understand them but if you did not, do not tell someone this is what they would what or they would approve of the behavior!

As I am sure you can see I am fuming so I am going to stop now but please guys, think before you say something because when that person fights back, you are going to realise what you said was wrong and it will be too late!

Inner storm

By:Ashlee Zlotnick

First the white clouds come
then they turn to grey.
This only happens when
you short-circuit in a way.
The sky gets dark
and the darkness arrives.
Truth is I get scared.
Like someone is about to stab me with  knives.
First comes the lightning
and then the thunder.
But my fear I hide
deep down under.
The rain the comes
just like my tears.
No-one knows what they really are for
especially my peers.
A big boom to finish it off
and it shocks my heart.
The rainbow comes out,
showing G-D’S work of art…

My inner storm only happens
when you have short circuits
and when this happpens
I try my best to keep my wits.

Count to 10

By:Ashlee Zlotnick

You have pulled on my tail far too long.

It is now time for me to bite back.

My blood is boiled beyond boiling point,

and is time for it to erupt out my body.


I have been nothing but nice to you,

even though I did not want to.

I learnt to be civil towards my enemy

and yet she can’t do the same.


How can I deal with you everyday?

How do I keep my cool?

Our mutual friend is the reason I have not exploded

but I am not sure how long it will last.


I see how our feud hurts our friends

and then come to realise:

that if I stop and count to 10,

it will place a smile on their faces whilst I hurt inside.


I would rather hurt than see you hurt.

I would rather cry than dry your eyes.

You means too much to me my friend

for me to let my problems hurt you.