Posts Tagged ‘broken heart’

Could be the vodka talking or my sad, broken soul

Today, a milestone was taken away from me because people cannot be trusted. Even on paper they seem to promise things they never deliver. Dedicate 3 years of your life to a place and they will stab you in the back the second they get the chance. 

Being burnt so many times kinda makes you carry around a fire blanket or extinguisher. If I didn’t… Could you just imagine how much worse I would be? Never mind 3 degree burns, my soul would be ash and my heart will be hard as stone and cold as ice. 

I always wonder why hurtful things happen to people who try to do their best and be good people and help people along the way. I guess sometimes you just have to focus on you and maybe just maybe someone will come along and look after you for an hour or so… Doesn’t have to be a boyfriend or girlfriend. Nor a job or a friend but a something or someone to take the pain away and show you that it will be ok…

Sob story now over… It is time to make use of my new burn. Show the world that I don’t go down so easily. My heart might be breaking and my eyes might be dry as a desert but my heart is still beating and is still able to drive my body to victory. 

I have been burnt way too many times to trust people whole heartedly. It is time to do something for me and not worry what it will do to other people because end of the day the only thing you ever own is you name!

So own it. Stand up for it. Only you can drive your name forward in a positive light.

Think about it…

Ash

Xxx

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4 years and counting

I still remember standing still, as my ear heard the news. Took awhile for my body to register what I had just heard. My heart dropped, my blood rushed to my feet, my legs went numb and I dropped to my knees. I could not believe what I was hearing. I spoke to him a mere 4 hours before. It could not be true… It shouldn’t be true…

My best friend was killed by a speeding car. He just could not fight any longer and his heart gave in. He is really gone and I sometimes still think that he will jump up from the bushes to scare me or give me a hug from behind… 4 years ago I lost the one person who was always on my side. Even when I got into trouble he was right there next to me getting into more trouble than I was.

Ry, at your funeral, I was fine up until the sand hit your coffin. One hit, that sound went rushing through my body and I dropped and broke down. I should not have buried my best friend when I was 16 years old. That just was not right. I wrote  speech for you at your assembly. I spoke about our last deep conversation and still to this day I stick to our promise. It breaks my heart that I am writing this post because you should be next to me drinking a Spin and listening to Simple Plan. I guess I am going to have to do it for us both.

I do not know if this gets easier but right now, it seems like it does not. Your memory floods my mind and your love still makes me smile. So here we go, a start of another year without you. I specialise this year and you would be done this year as well… So here is to us.

I love you lots Ry

Love

Me

xxx

Keep believing in yourself

must-Believe-in-Yourself[1]

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

There are times in life
where you not perfect.
There are times when you don’t succeed.
There are times when you want to give in.
Feels like right now you can’t deal.

A rainbow can only come after rain.
The day comes after night.
Spring comes after winter.
Growth comes after a storm
and healing comes after a broken heart.

You need to stay true to yourself.
Believe that you’ll get through.
Trust that I’ll carry you
BUT most of all: keep believing in yourself.

A broken heart is a complete soul

Good evening everyone

I know my title may seem a bit weird and may not make sense but bear with me done this road… my mind may work in a weird way but by the end of this journey, we will be on the same page for sure.

A wise man asked me a question: why is it when we are broken, we are whole? I looked at him with total confusion and asked him what he meant and he repeated the question. He refused to give me the answer until I came up with one on my own. So I began to think what is meant by being broken… To me, being broken means that we are not strong, we have reached our breaking point and we are vulnerable. When one is broken, one is unable to function the way everyone is used to. For me, I am broken when I am unable to help someone or when I am in a situation I do not like nor know how to over come it. This feeling of not knowing leaves me to question and I end up asking people for help and advice on how to move on from this and grow. The wise man looked at me with a smile and asked me to carry on with this thought.

When our hearts are broken, we are crushed, devastated, beside ourselves and our thoughts are cloudy and grey.So how does this make our soul complete???
We are our true selves when we are vulnerable. We seem to turn to people therefore creating a stronger bond and an everlasting relationship or one that will last you through the hard times. A complete soul is a soul which has comfort and love…

If you had not had that broken heart, the Lord would not have given us that one person in our life which we turn to because we would have never been vulnerable. In life people come and go at the hardest times but the ones that stay are strong and the relationships grow and grow.

Therefore a broken heart is a complete soul because a broken heart leaves us vulnerable and then the Lord brings someone to give us love and comfort which will complete our soul.

The wise man said:’Right Ash, that has to be one of the best answers I have ever gotten.’ and he walked off.

Have a good week everyone

Love

Ash

xxx

Ryan Lang

By:Ashlee Zlotnick

I walked into school as a matric.
That is something you never got to do.
I got the lecture that scared us all…
oh how I wish you could have too.

I sat at the table as people passed us.
They all got intimidated as they went by.
The bathroom where we hid has changed.
It feels like they took our history, I won’t lie.

The writing is painted over
and the bench was taken away.
It’s time for me to tell the truth
of course that’s if I may?

Today I was happy on the outside
but I was sad inside.
I got to do something my best friend couldn’t
because he tragically died.

I’ll do matric with you in mind
and sing the song you and I sang.
I’ll do this for both of us
oh how I miss you Ryan Lang.