Posts Tagged ‘change’

Dear future me

I need to learn a thing or two. Help myself through the drought. It is as if I need to become immune, to what is going on around me.

I need to learn to let go. Understand that people won’t do for me what I do for them. I need to learn to say no and do a thing or two for myself instead.

It is time to become desensitized to the evil that surrounds my white light. Time for a change and something exciting and new to uplift my stale mood.

People will change and cancel your plans. I think it is because you are so forgiving and laid back. Get used to it because it happens a lot, even in work.

People tend to take their problems out on you. You have broad shoulders and tops that tend to absorb a lot of tears. This is what makes you a healer.

You cannot cry in front of people. They can’t stand to see the strong one fall apart. So wait until you home alone or under your sheets. Pull yourself together, it will be fine.

You the one that fixes everyone else. It is your talent in life. Only issue is… people don’t always seem to be able to fix you.

Life motto: Pick yourself up, Dust yourself off, start walking and count to 10.

Good luck!

All my love,



The rose

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

Started off as a little seed
barely breaking through the earth.
As the time passes, stems begin to grow
and soon after permanent roots form.

Seasons change and buds connect.
The summer sun allows flowers to blossom.
Fragrances fill the crisp air
and colours broaden the garden spectrum.

The flower brings in positivety.
Sometimes even looks like it is judging.
It is there to be a home to animals
and a voice of reason for lost souls.

Winter comes and takes it away.
Everything is just sad and morbid
BUT you have a picture of your rose in your mind.
I wish it was forever…frozen in time.

Mirror Image

Image result for mirror image

Hey guys,

Ever wonder how someone else sees you? Not in a physical way but in an emotional, psychological way? Do they see you for who you are? Someone they can use and abuse? Someone who can mean the entire world to them however act like they don’t care that much when they with other people?

Interesting question right?

I have always been a straight forward person. If I don’t like you, I won’t pretend I like you in front of other people. If I love you, I am going to love you so that everyone else knows what you mean to me. I am a mirror image. How I see you, I show you and other people. If you my entire world and oxygen, people know that and know that I will check up on you and talk to you even when I am not with you.

People change when they are around other people. You might have to be more professional, act like an adult and not a child but does that mean that you treat people differently and don’t do what you normally would if they weren’t around? Granted, the people you are with need your attention and running around and being in other places the whole time is wrong but your every day actions should not change and how you treat people shouldn’t change either.

Learn to be a mirror image and not a person who changes because of surroundings…



Say no to bullying

Good evening all my gorgeous viewers

So I would firstly like to thank you all for reading my blog and for going on all my life journeys with me. I am glad that I have a place whereby I can say what I am thinking and people are willing to listen. If I have not been able to reach you with my writing I am sorry but I am going to try reach everyone with me new post…

We have all had that one person that makes our body go cold at the thought or mention of their name. You know, that person that bullied you into giving you their lunch money or pushing you around to the point whereby you do not want to see their face or even be in the same room as them? Ya those people… well it is time to put this madness to an end!

Brave hearts is an NGO that helps people deal with bullies and allows them to learn with it and move on. Emotional pain lasts forever where as physical can heal up but the hurt and memories last forever. Now I am not one of those who write about the bad and the darkness but this is a serious problem that needs to be solved now and we are starting this off with a friendship bracelet… Bravehearts will be at Carnival City on the second of October 2014 in conjunction with EFC South Africa, we are starting to create awareness and stop bullying dead in its tracks. We will be selling 2 orange ribbons. One will be for you and the other you are going to give to someone else. A friend, someone you meet in the streets and so on. It is time that we all stand together and show all the bullies out there that we are no longer afraid and we are proud of who we are!

I wear my orange ribbon with pride. It is time that you do too

At a loss for words

Hey guys

You know that feeling you get when you just have an urge to write but have no idea what to write on? Well, lucky me, I have that right now…

So there is a time in everyone’s life whereby they have to sit back and watch people. I am going through that stage. All my younger siblings are growing up rather quickly and I cannot stop that. I have to just sit back and watch them grow up and hope that I have shown them enough to be able to stand on their own. I am not very good at this as I don’t like the idea of my siblings being somewhere or in a situation whereby I cannot help them or be there. It is like you having a really annoying itch and not being able to scratch it. Same thing.

Having said that, this past weekend I did exactly that. I just left my itch and I came to realise how grow up and amazing they really are. Shira has grown up into a girl who is strong willed and doesn’t give into peer pressure. Sam has grown into a very fine young man who treats girls with respect and he has become very protective over my little sis… Where to start with her. She has just grown up into a woman that is proud yet conservative, and she has a mind of her own. They all do. They all know what they want and they won’t stop until they get there. Sure there are a few bumps in the road but that will make them stronger.

I am very proud to call them my siblings and I am very proud of who they have become. Sometimes taking a step back isn’t such a bad thing. Allows you to see the whole picture a lot clearer



People change

Hey guys

For those of you who follow my blog will know that I am a fan of change. I feel that it is important for things to grow and in order to grow, they need to change. I have been out of school for a year next week Friday and so much has changed since then it is scary! I can handle change but some things I honestly thought would never change…

When I got into High school, Timor made me do something that changed the way I thought about my future. If it wasn’t for her, I would never have done first aid or looked at going into Medical school or do some form of medicine. She pushed me to do something and because of her, I realised how much I enjoy learning about the body and how it functions. I have had lots of fun, sweat and tears because of first aid and even though people tried to bring me down because I was the only girl doing it, I tried to follow in Timor’s footsteps and be the best first aider I could be. I did not get what I wanted at the end because some people did not believe I could do it and it hurt me a lot BUT I left that school with my head held high and I have this inner fire that gives me the drive and determination I need to prove them all wrong! To date, my marks for anatomy are one of the highest and I am nowhere close to reaching my full potential. So thank you Timor for showing me what I can do and for believing in me that I can do it.

I had a bit of a rocky patch in my life and I turned my life around. It is because of that I began to see the change in people and began to believe that people can change for the better however your past still has a hold on you sometimes. Sometimes the past you comes out for a bit and that is when you realise that people cannot always change. They wear a mask that hides who they really are or hides behind technology because it is easier than facing people. People from my past are still in my life but I don’t do what I used to do anymore. So I have changed for the better but there are times when the old me wants to come out and I have to learn to control it.

Next: Friends… I can very easily say that I have lost 75% of my school friends in the past year. When I got to high school, I changed groups and lost that entire group due to in house politics. I then moved on to other friends, friends that have been in my life since I was born and nursery school. My very best friend told me that we would be there for each other no matter what and we made all these plans to meet for lunch in between uni and college and that we would see each other a lot. She went on holiday to Israel and came back a totally different person and now, I haven’t spoken to her at all! No lunch dates, no partying, nothing and today I found out that my old group got together this past weekend and didn’t invite me. Feeling the love…NOT! I guess there is nothing I can do. People change and move on, guess it is my chance to move on.

My family members have changed to. My little brother is no longer little and he is talking about applying to University and driving and all of that. Shmoobear has turned into your typical teenager. The attitude with the naughty look but still has her cute look to get her out of serious trouble. Then there is my lil sis… I don’t know where to start. Matric makes people change in ways they never thought they would. It is as if matric is a bug that gets into your system and changes things without you knowing. Makes you grow up and want to experience things with every aspect of life. It gets you ready for what lies ahead and I know that she can handle it and get through it and I know she is always going to be my little sister. Just got accept that they are all growing up and so am I.

Moral of all of this is: We don’t really know what is forever in terms of friends and what is going to be right now. You have to just enjoy every second you get with people and realise that family is forever and that people come in your life to change something. Might be the way you think about your future or turning you into the best sister you can be but you also need to remember that some parts of people cannot change. Br careful of the masks people wear and sometimes people say things or don’t say things to protect you.


Things change

So this is my blog post about accepting my new life…

Right here we go: 13 years ago I went to nursery school. Was one of the scariest days of my life. I had to let go of my mommy’s hand and fend for myself in the evil world of socialising and making my own friends. I was not alone though… just as I was trying to hide in the tree house, a little girl was trying to hide too. So we hid and was anti-social together. Soon after that we had our first play date and soon after that we spent every day together.

I was there when her siblings were born and when her brother was rushed to hospital because he cut his head open on a fireman’s pole. Was funny after I wont lie but during we were both scared because they were my siblings too and there was blood everywhere and wasn’t a very pretty site.

We went through school together. Junior school was interesting. Our school was a bit bigger but we still found time for our stuff. When we were in a naughty mood, we would go behind the forbidden wall and tell each other secrets. She was the first person I turned to in my time of need or when something happened. She was there when my Pa died and was one of my only friends who knew him. Mind you, she was one of the only ones he liked.

Moving on… Primary school came and we lost touch for about a month or two. Was horrible. I thought I lost my best friend but then she came back and we were inseparable again. I went through a stage in my life that I kept from her because I knew how she would feel about it. She knew the real me and believed in me. We lost touch again because I began to get in too deep and she became unknown to me. I couldn’t read her and that scared me a lot but I stayed in touch with her mom and made sure she was ok and when she was sick I would show up with a pizza or card or just be there for her.

High school came along and we became friends again and then back to best friends. With us, we always used to go back to where we left off. It is as if we were never apart. Felt good to have her back in my life and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t lose her as a friend again because it was too painful. Up until this point, we never ever missed a birthday party of each others. One year I was violently ill but I still went to my party because I couldn’t break that tradition. I slept most of the party but that is not the point.

We had our morning rituals and still told secrets except now they were about boys instead of silk worms and dreams and goals instead of what’s for lunch. We used to sit in my room and just talk about everything and when she was going through a hard time or in hospital I was the one who was there! With my pizza and lame jokes to try make her laugh. Grade 11 and 12 we were in the same class for a subject and she designed my tattoo and we spoke about what comes after school and how we were going to keep us going. Sounded like hard work but I thought it was worth it.

December came and my lil sis wasn’t here but my BFF was. When I had a full on freak out, she was there freaking out with me to make me feel better… Then Dec came and went and she went away and when she got back, we fell apart. Plain and simple. I tried to put our plan into action but never worked and here I am, 9 nearly 10 months out of school and we missed each other’s birthdays. Not even a year has gone by and she missed mine and I have no idea if I have missed hers. Sad hey? To think that a 13 year relationship can crumble just because of location and a little bit of thought and effort is needed to stay afloat.

See this is when society and me don’t get along… Surely if someone means a lot to you, you will put in some effort and try make it work. It is not easy trust me and I know that sometimes you feel like you losing it and you tired but a few months ago, that person was your best friend and now what is she? Your ex best friend? Doesn’t work for me. If you don’t want the friendship, fine but you need to say so. You need to explain why you so bloody lazy and cannot pick up the phone once a week to ask how are you? Want to have coffee sometime… See it is not so hard. You just need to put in some effort! Technology has made our lives easy. You can BBM someone very quickly and easily or Whatsapp them. No effort needed just 5 seconds to send a message.

After some time, a person’s hand is going to get tired of waiting for you to grab it and they will eventually stop waiting… So here is my advice for all of you: Call your best friend once in a while. Let them know that you care and that they mean something to you. We all have feelings and we all need a hug every now and again so share the love guys. Friends are there when you can’t turn to your family and often your friends are your family.

I can’t say that you all are going to stay friends forever but I can tell you that effort and letting them know how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them, will make them keep their arm out a little bit longer when you let go for whatever reason. Some of us will never let go…


Nelson Mandela


Nelson Mandela is a man who has proved to the world that one man can make a huge difference to the world. He stood up for what he believed in and because of him, our country is a much better place where equality lives on and people live in peace with each other. He has become an icon of change and love for all people. He once said that you are not born hating people but you learn how to hate. This is very true! We only hate people because we listen to what other people say about them and we never make decisions for ourselves. If your best friend says he is a bad kisser, then he must be or that guy is just horrible because of a rumor you once heard. People can change and they can change for the better. South Africa changed for the better and we are now a rainbow nation whereby people have come to love each other and their differences. If we all the same, life would be boring and we would not have the chance to learn about new cultures and see how other people live…

I had the honor to meet Nelson Mandela about 5 years ago. I worked for CHOC Childhood Cancer Foundation and one day I was selling Easter eggs at a shopping centre and all of a sudden I saw about a dozen body guards and then my body went cold. The man who changed our lives was standing right before me! He went to go buy a book from the book shop and the whole centre froze and was on lock down. I was in too much shock to take a picture of one of the most astonishing men alive. My mom,sister, brother and I walked up to him and said, ‘Mr.Mandela, can we please have a picture or a hand shake or a something?’ and he replied, ‘Ask my boss.’ he was pointing at his body guard and the guard said no but Mandela spoke to me! Was a moment that I will never ever forget! I owe my youth to him because I am part of the first group of people to matriculate in our new democratic country. It was because of this man that any religion, gender and race could matriculate last year as a unity and we owe that honor to this man.

It is now a time of darkness in our country because Nelson is not a well man and he is lying in a hospital bed in Pretoria and as all the drama is going on, we need to remember what Nelson stood for and how much he fought for our country and we cannot ruin that or tear it down!!! We need to continue his legacy and make our country become the country he dreamed of. So my thoughts and prayers go out to Mr.Mandela and his whole family and I really do wish him well and hope he has a speedy recovery.

Thank you Nelson Mandela for giving me the opportunity to learn new cultures and religions and allowing me to live at peace with my fellow South Africans. Thank you for not giving up on us.

Ashlee Zlotnick

Here comes the change

Good evening everyone

So far the past few days have been very intense for me. I got heart broken which was not fun at all! My matric results come out on Friday, I spent a lot of time with people I have not seen in a very long time and I have noticed a lot of change that is going on around me…

For example: My dad is planning! He never plans for anything. Normally we would wake up and he would say to us,’Right, what are we doing today?’ or,’let’s go for a drive and see where we land up.’ No not this time. He sat us down tonight and we planned our week. Was very strange.

My one little sister is going through the change. My gosh! She is like a ticking time bomb and at any given second, she could explode! My brother is all grown up and is working. He is learning the value of money and how hard it is to make money. My other little sister is giving me heart failure!!!! She is growing up and hello boys! I now understand why parents want to lock us up and throw away the key. Having said that, they are all growing up into amazing, loving, kind hearted people and I feel honored to be part of that.

As an older sister to them all I have to learn to sit back and watch. There are times where I have to watch them make their own decisions and mistakes and I have to pray that when they need help or advice, they will come to me.

Just like everyone else, I have also changed. My week away with friends has made me realise how much my family mean to me and who is going to be there when we all go our separate ways. I have come to understand my true wants and needs and I have two main goals I NEED to accomplish. First is following my dreams and doing what I love doing. I am talking about my course and dancing. And second is an apartment with my little sister. This is the one thing that has motivated this year. Ever since I thought of an apartment with her, I have made this idea my shining star in a pitch black sky.

Anyway, that is just some of the observations I have made the past few days…


Life Update

Hey guys

Yes I know it has been way too long. I thought this holiday was going to be relaxed and I would have lots of time to write but I guess not. I have been running around all over the show and on top of that, I got a job at a bar. Had to write a test today about the menu and stuff so we will see who gets chosen to be permanent staff and who does not.

My mom turned 40 yesterday. We had a party for her and all her friends came but what meant the most to her was the gift my siblings and I made for her. We made a scrapbook containing the 40 years of her life so far. Every page she cried and the more she cried, the more I cried. It is amazing to see how something so simple could mean so much to her or anyone for that matter.

I took a step back last night to observe what was going on. I came to realise that I am very lucky. I have the best parents, amazing friends and astonishing siblings. My life is full of love and no matter how hard life is sometimes, I have a steady flow of love to help me through life and that is all that matters to me. It is not about how much money you have or material things you have because at the end of the day, the only thing that can make you truly happy is LOVE. Loving yourself is just as important if not more than loving other people. If you can love yourself, others can love you too.

Last night my one older sister and I snuggled after the party. Was nice because I got to speak to her about what is going on and how I was feeling about certain things in my life. A change is coming soon in my life and it is going to start with my matric results…

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