Posts Tagged ‘Family’

Life is like a kite

Life is funny when you think about it. Life is hard and unexpected. There is nothing more challenging than going through life trying not to fall down the giant mountain on the way up to the top.

Come to think about it, life is more like the journey a kite has to face every time it is up in the air. There is always someone trying to tug on the strings and guide the kite through the air. Left and right, up and down, the kite is forever majestically, out of control.

Sometimes it flies high and sometimes low. The scary part is when you flying high and all of a sudden you find a gap in the wind and boom, you travelling 100 miles, nose down to the ground but just as you about to hit the ground, a gust of wind takes you back up to flying high in the sunset…

Life is very much like a kite. We are forever trying to climb up higher and higher and every now and again we take a fall. There is always someone who is going to come and help you get back up to where you were as well as help you go even higher.

Always strive to reach for the stars! And remember, you cannot get there alone. There is always going to be people to help you get back on top.

Hope you all have an amazing holiday and stay safe.

Love,

Ash

xxx

 

A soul lost but not forgotten

It’s hard to talk about how you feel. It’s harder to accept how you feel. Worst of all, how do you figure out how you feel? You need to figure that out before you can accept and begin to deal with how you feel inorder for you to heal. 

2 weeks ago I got a phone call that made my blood turn cold and my skin turn white. It was so unexpected that I did not know how to react let alone cope. 24 year old. He was only 24 and lost the battle with addiction. How can something as small as a little pill be so powerful and life threatening? Small really is powerful. Molecules we can’t see with our naked eye, keeps us alive. So in essence, makes sense how something so small can dictate life…

What do you say to the family? I wish you long life, sorry for your loss, no regrets… How is that comforting? You walk behind this box that contains the family’s prize possession. Almost like the unique diamond that is owned by only one person or a painting without a duplicate. There is only one… Or so there was only one…

After the longest walk of their life, you arrive at a hole in the ground hoping that they don’t fall in or jump in after this precious box. THUMP THUMP THUMP. Your soul sinks into your shoes, tears roll down your face and your heart seems to break into thousands of pieces as you hear the father cry out in pain. Not a dry eye in site as family members confess their regrets out loud… I am sorry I failed you and was not able to help you in your time of need! 

Slowly but surely you walk away and as their cries get softer, your thoughts get louder. Only problem is you have no idea what your thoughts are. Are you happy that he is no longer suffering and having this constant battle in his life or are you sad and horrified by the whole event? How do you come back from this? How do you learn to cope? Are you so angry at the fact that he could be so selfish or was it an accident? These are all just questions… Questions you will never get the answers to. 

Time goes by so slowly and yet seems to fly. The pain takes long to go away however memories and voices seem to fade quickly. It all just does not make sense… How do you feel? How can you put into words your shock and disbelief? People come up and ask you so how you doing and and truth is you have got no idea! Because fact of the matter is you buried someone who meant something to you, and you do not believe that you should have done it in the first place! 

I am 21 years old. I have buried my best friend, and now a brother figure. That’s not right. And how does this all make me feel? When I figure it out I will let y all know. How to you cope and move on from it all? You don’t move on, you don’t forget, you learn to live with the pain and giant gap where he used to stand. 

He is a soul that has been lost but not forgotten. 

Please guys, addiction is a serious problem that can have and does have effects on everyone around you. Get help before it’s too late. It does not make you weak in anyway, makes you strong and brave. Admitting You have a problem and need help is the first step. There will always be people around to love and support you. 

Take what I am saying to heart,

Ash

Time to cut ties

 

confident

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

I find it rather amazing
how one call can make snap.
One jester can mean the world…
But I guess I never got that lightening zap.

In your eyes I don’t deserve recognition.
I don’t even deserve a sarcastic well done.
In your eyes I took the easy way out
a beauty school drop out, excuse the pun.

Call me jealous, selfish or even a bitch.
Call me whatever you like, I don’t mind.
BUT I am cutting you all loose.
I don’t need your constant grind.

My life choices don’t affect you.
Frankly I am happy and I don’t care.
I will run circles around you and your degree!
Try me… I enjoy a good dare.

The rose

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

Started off as a little seed
barely breaking through the earth.
As the time passes, stems begin to grow
and soon after permanent roots form.

Seasons change and buds connect.
The summer sun allows flowers to blossom.
Fragrances fill the crisp air
and colours broaden the garden spectrum.

The flower brings in positivety.
Sometimes even looks like it is judging.
It is there to be a home to animals
and a voice of reason for lost souls.

Winter comes and takes it away.
Everything is just sad and morbid
BUT you have a picture of your rose in your mind.
I wish it was forever…frozen in time.

Falling wall

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

As your word slowly pierce my chest
I try my best to breathe.
Take me over, be my guest.
I dare you to try but don’t grieve.

You don’t understand the strength needed
to please someone who can’t be pleased.
To feel your mission’s not completed
To feel like you not better than a disease.

I guess even the strongest wall
will eventually give in.
Everything will surely fall
and the best wall standing will win

Safe to say my wall has collapsed.
I’m taking in all the dust.
I’m so tired of all your attacks
but that’s what happens when you lose all trust.

Some things you just cannot fix

Hey guys

A few years ago I wrote a thesis about family and I said that it was like a broken plate and that if you want to, you can glue it back together. Won’t be the same but it will still be together… Well guess what, I lied…

Some plates cannot be fixed. Some are just so far gone that no amount of glue can hold it together. Some family fights are just so big that you just cannot fix it and see eye to eye and often the problem is not the siblings but the spouses that come with it.

I am heart broken and I cannot bare the thought of having a wedding without my family there but I guess sometimes, you just need to accept your losses and move on. Rough I know But these are words of a person who just cannot try anymore. 12 years ago, I was in a car accident and I was in hospital for a bit. I was 8 years old and some of my uncles did not come and see me. I thought it was my fault and ever since then, my family has not been the same. Turns out it was not my fault at all but at the time, that is what I felt.

I have done everything I can to try glue this plate together but I am not winning and I am HURTING BADLY because of it. So that is me… I am putting the brush down and letting it be. I cannot fight anymore because I am tired and hurt. I thought it would be ok but maybe not. I don’t wish them harm. I love them all even though I don’t know them

Do yourself a favour… If your plate is broken, understand that it can only be fixed if the pieces want to work with the glue and think about your actions before you exclude people from a big family event

Life is way too short!

Hey guys

3 years ago my best friend died. I had no idea how to deal with it or where to begin to move on… 3 years later, his best friend died yesterday 21… Scary concept to put into your mind. 21 year olds dying and not being able to live out their dream or finish a degree. Some don’t even have the opportunity to start.

My ex lost his mom on Thursday night. She died from cancer.

Too many tragedies for me in one week. Makes realise how important life is and how precious it is. So my message to you all is as follows:

Pick up the phone and tell the people you love how much they mean to you. Tell the people in your household how much you care about them and how you appreciate what they do for you because you never know when the last time you going to get the opportunity to express your love for them.

I wish these families long life and I hope they get the strength to pull through…

Love

Ash

At a loss for words

Hey guys

You know that feeling you get when you just have an urge to write but have no idea what to write on? Well, lucky me, I have that right now…

So there is a time in everyone’s life whereby they have to sit back and watch people. I am going through that stage. All my younger siblings are growing up rather quickly and I cannot stop that. I have to just sit back and watch them grow up and hope that I have shown them enough to be able to stand on their own. I am not very good at this as I don’t like the idea of my siblings being somewhere or in a situation whereby I cannot help them or be there. It is like you having a really annoying itch and not being able to scratch it. Same thing.

Having said that, this past weekend I did exactly that. I just left my itch and I came to realise how grow up and amazing they really are. Shira has grown up into a girl who is strong willed and doesn’t give into peer pressure. Sam has grown into a very fine young man who treats girls with respect and he has become very protective over my little sis… Where to start with her. She has just grown up into a woman that is proud yet conservative, and she has a mind of her own. They all do. They all know what they want and they won’t stop until they get there. Sure there are a few bumps in the road but that will make them stronger.

I am very proud to call them my siblings and I am very proud of who they have become. Sometimes taking a step back isn’t such a bad thing. Allows you to see the whole picture a lot clearer

Ash

xxx

Life is like a box of chocolates

Hi everyone… Did you ALL miss me? Don’t you worry cause I am back and I am ready to take over the world!

It has been a very long time I know and honestly I don’t have a very good excuse except for the fact that I have started my own business, I am getting my first diploma in 3 months, I am qualifying for an international diploma and I am trying to be a good sister and girlfriend all at the same time. Fun juggling act right!?

I don’t think I am doing too badly. I am getting my work done, I have got a steady flow of clients, I still have a boyfriend and my siblings have not killed me yet so all in all life is good. I am not going to mumble on about all the boring stuff and not have a metaphor or a meaning behind my madness, after all it is me we talking about so here we go…

Once upon a time, a not so very long time ago someone once told me that I need to reach for the stars and one day maybe, I will touch one and soon after that, I will become a star myself and inspire people to reach out and grab something that seems so far away… My Pa taught me that before he died. So here I am, nearly 15 years later and I have reached my first star… Now I am not the type of person who believes in luck but I do believe in fate as a guidance or torch to help guide you on the right path. My path is pretty simple: Create an atmosphere whereby people feel safe and at home with me in every aspect of their life… Airy fairy I know but it is true. I want my life to have meaning not just a bank card or cheque book. I want to touch lives and make people reach for the stars. I want to help people see their inner beauty and believe in themselves and at the same time, make people realise how strong they really are.

Forest Gump said:”Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one you gonna get.” How true is that? Life is unpredictable. We don’t know what we are going to have to deal with and let go of. Who we going to gain in our lives and so on… 2 years ago I left school with more friends than I can count on my hands and feet, now I have a hand full. People who I thought would stay didn’t and people who I didn’t think would be there, has turned into my boyfriend. Life works in very weird ways. Having said that the element of surprise is exciting. Opening up that chocolate, taking the first bite and only then understanding what you chose or got given.

So, with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eye, open up that chocolate with an open mind and heart because you never know what is going to be in the center.

Ash

xxx 

Life after decisions

Hey guys

Today I am writing on the idea of making decisions and not regretting them after you choose it.

For half of my life I have wanted to be in the industry that I am currently in. 10 years ago I had this amazing idea to get qualified and then go and work on the ships for a year or two, come back and then open up my own spa. Great idea right? The plot behind it was to have the ability to run away from my family. At that stage I did not like being around my family at all and any chance I could get, I would go out without the. Now this ‘dream’ could come true in about 6 months. I will be qualified and I will have the opportunity to go on the ships BUT I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want to run nor jog out of here. I want to stay and be here for my family. You night all think I am stupid but sometimes there are certain people in life that you just cannot leave behind and come back to. Distance ruins a lot of relationships and I am not prepared to lose a specific person over a job nor do I want to miss out on my siblings growing up.

I made the decision not to go about a year ago and I cannot be more happier with a decision than what I am with this one. Life after a decision should not end with regret because you chose that specific outcome for a reason at that time. Now you cannot argue with yourself 10 years down the line as to why you didn’t choose the other option. Truth is, in that moment, you chose the right decision for you in the end. Sometimes giving up on a ‘dream’ is a lot more beneficial than giving up on family.

I did not close the door on something without a window being opened. Now I just have different decisions to make that will allow me to stay close by to my family and allow my relationships to grow and blossom into something worth staying for.

Look at the bigger picture guys. Life after a decision is not to be regretted! You chose that path for a reason so don’t doubt yourself in 5 years time. You got there for a reason and you chose it to benefit you more when you needed it.

Keep smiling

Ash
xxx

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