Posts Tagged ‘life’

New angel in Heaven

It is always hard to pay tribute to people you do not believe needs it. This is one of the hardest posts I have ever had to write.

A week ago, the world lost an earth angel. She was kind, caring, a pure soul and left this year a few decades too early. I spent the last 2 weeks of her life with her making business plans to better both our lives but more importantly, to better the lives of other people. It was one of her best qualities.

She always made sure that other people were happy. In winter, she would buy blankets for homeless people to make sure that they stayed warm and welcomed anyone into her home. Food was her passion. She loved to cook and she was beyond good at it!

I still cannot believe she is gone because she was not ready to go. The night she passed away, she spoke to her daughter and told her that she loves her and that same night, she told me that she was proud of me and that she loved me lots for helping her out with her new business venture.

If I have learnt anything from this devastating crack in the universe, I have learnt how important it is to tell the people that you love how much they mean to you every single night before you go to sleep because we never know… life can change in an instant and not always for the better.

I hope that I can carry out her way of life in terms of helping people and make people happy. I also hope to carry out her business idea one day. When I am ready and make sure that it is everything she wanted and more.

R.I.P Vanessa. I knew you for 20 years and I wish it was more. Thank you for helping me on my journey of helping children with cancer and making my weird and wonderful birthday cakes come to life. I will never forget what an amazing person you were and how much you impacted on my life and my family. Sunday Potjie and tequila will not be the same without you.

 

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Learning to say NO

It is funny how people work. We are always so eager to say no to people about things that do not benefit us in some way or another. I have recently gone through a bit of a rollercoaster in my career. I hurt my hand so I have had to take a step back and let my hand heal and at the same time learn to tell people no or that I can’t help them and for me, that has been one of the hardest things I have had to do.

I am not the type of person that will say yes to you because it will benefit me but I will say yes because it is what is best for the person. I have had to put myself first and learn to say no and by doing that, I am starting to take the time to learn what it is that I need.

It is all very well helping people for a living and then coming home and helping out the people that I care about but I have come to realise that it is ok to saying no to helping them and asking them to help me. Some people only see me as the Fixer but I have been told that I am more than just that!

I am more than the person who solves problems and fixes and makes better, I am a person with feelings and needs as well.

I want you all to learn from my time off and learn that it is ok to not always help. You cannot help someone if you broken or you are an empty cup. You need to take care of yourself so that you strong enough to help the other people out there who may need your help. Do not be a doormat and allow someone to walk all over you just because they are going through a rough time in their life. We all have issues and troubles. That is what makes life a challenge and worth it! But that is not an excuse to be used the whole time and not have someone take care of you.

Learn to say NO to save YOURSELF!

Hope you all have an amazing day full of love.

Lots of love

Ash

Life is like a kite

Life is funny when you think about it. Life is hard and unexpected. There is nothing more challenging than going through life trying not to fall down the giant mountain on the way up to the top.

Come to think about it, life is more like the journey a kite has to face every time it is up in the air. There is always someone trying to tug on the strings and guide the kite through the air. Left and right, up and down, the kite is forever majestically, out of control.

Sometimes it flies high and sometimes low. The scary part is when you flying high and all of a sudden you find a gap in the wind and boom, you travelling 100 miles, nose down to the ground but just as you about to hit the ground, a gust of wind takes you back up to flying high in the sunset…

Life is very much like a kite. We are forever trying to climb up higher and higher and every now and again we take a fall. There is always someone who is going to come and help you get back up to where you were as well as help you go even higher.

Always strive to reach for the stars! And remember, you cannot get there alone. There is always going to be people to help you get back on top.

Hope you all have an amazing holiday and stay safe.

Love,

Ash

xxx

 

Dear future me

I need to learn a thing or two. Help myself through the drought. It is as if I need to become immune, to what is going on around me.

I need to learn to let go. Understand that people won’t do for me what I do for them. I need to learn to say no and do a thing or two for myself instead.

It is time to become desensitized to the evil that surrounds my white light. Time for a change and something exciting and new to uplift my stale mood.

People will change and cancel your plans. I think it is because you are so forgiving and laid back. Get used to it because it happens a lot, even in work.

People tend to take their problems out on you. You have broad shoulders and tops that tend to absorb a lot of tears. This is what makes you a healer.

You cannot cry in front of people. They can’t stand to see the strong one fall apart. So wait until you home alone or under your sheets. Pull yourself together, it will be fine.

You the one that fixes everyone else. It is your talent in life. Only issue is… people don’t always seem to be able to fix you.

Life motto: Pick yourself up, Dust yourself off, start walking and count to 10.

Good luck!

All my love,

Me

Time Restraints

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

As the strap gets wrapped
around my fragile neck,
my heart begins to race.
WAIT! I need one more sec…

The buckle gets fastened
and my neck begins to grow.
Losing air quickly I fear.
All I want to do is say no.

Tic toc tic toc.
The time slowly tics away.
Suffocation takes over!
I am defeated… I have no say.

Nothing is no longer free.
Time controls it all.
One hour coffee here and there.
Everything is restricted, I’ve hit a wall.

I am slowly suffocating with time restraints.
I can no longer be spontaneous.
That’s what happens when you grow up.
Watch out the window… is a sure miss.

Time to cut ties

 

confident

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

I find it rather amazing
how one call can make snap.
One jester can mean the world…
But I guess I never got that lightening zap.

In your eyes I don’t deserve recognition.
I don’t even deserve a sarcastic well done.
In your eyes I took the easy way out
a beauty school drop out, excuse the pun.

Call me jealous, selfish or even a bitch.
Call me whatever you like, I don’t mind.
BUT I am cutting you all loose.
I don’t need your constant grind.

My life choices don’t affect you.
Frankly I am happy and I don’t care.
I will run circles around you and your degree!
Try me… I enjoy a good dare.

Jealousy or does it go deeper than that?

Dear fellow viewers…

Life is hard and frankly it sucks! So many negative people and negative feelings and events, that it’s starting to make the world look grey and colourless.

I have always been the type of person to find the good. Try find the colour in every storm but lately it seems to get a lot harder every event. People seem to be losing their inner sunshine and that has become a real downer on the people like myself who try hard to be positive. Eventually it starts to drain you to the point whereby you stop seeing the colour and all you see is the grey and that is very scary for me.

See events happen and that can make you feel jealous. Like you don’t get the same attention or don’t get to see that person as often anymore. You have to sit and listen to everything they have to say even if it hurts you deep down inside but here is the trick… is it just jealousy or does it go deeper than that?

I have a constant need to feel loved. My down fall I guess. A lot has happened in my life and I need constant reminders that I am loved and that people need me and care for me. If people don’t need me, I can’t help and then a bit part of my soul and who I am does not get fed… Kind of like a plant that needs water to grow and survive… Because of this, I tend to feel threatened by people who seem to think they can take my place. People who think they deserve the same attention and affection that I worked years to get. That bugs me. That makes me see the grey and not the colour because I get discouraged.

Moral of my story: People have their own flaws. We have issues that run deeper than most people think and know and because of this, people might feel like its one emotion when it is actually deeper and more intense than that… Always remember that people feel the way they do for a reason. How we act and what we say affects people. So just be careful and maybe once in awhile, listen and take in what people say cause you never know what colour you could be taking away from them…

Ash

xxx

Encrypted

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

Deep within our soul lies an
Evil monster brewing so cold.
Praying on the innocence of
Run away minds and thoughts. So
Excitingly scary… at the same time
Someone always seems to fall short.
Slowly slipping into another dimension.
Immersing into a pool of black,darkness.
Only seeing the now and not the full
Notion of the ride that’s called life.

Canceling those thoughts cane be hard.
And a challenge however, they can turn
Nice if you try your best.

Breaking the barrier is possible and stopping
Evil from all sides can most definitely happen.

Basically what I’m trying to say is:
Every bad has ten more good and
Anyone has the power with a support system…
The moral is: Depression Can Be Beat!

Boxed Out

 

 

left out

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

I don’t feel boxed in…
I’m not surrounded by walls.
I can see the entire picture.
I’m not locked out by doors…

I can see the sky above me.
I can feel the fresh green grass.
I only have one problem…
You on the other side of the glass.

I don’t feel boxed in.
I guess that’s because I’m on the outside.
I’m looking out in and watching you.
The distance between is far too wide.

I guess it’s all ok.
I know I’ll be in once again.
But this whole idea…
has caused a bit of pain.

Scrambled eggs… as thoughts

Hello all my gorgeous viewers and welcome to the amazing world called my brain…

Ok, so it is not that amazing but hey, I got your attention. Right time to get down to business… I finish my diploma in 2 weeks. I cannot really say that out loud because my household or close people don’t really seem to want to talk about it. They try to, they will bring up next year or what am I going to do to celebrate but no-one really seems to want to talk about the now. How am I feeling now, what am I going to do now? The answer… I have no idea.

Next: You know that allowing little green thing that pops into your life every once in awhile at the most annoying times? The time whereby you really do not need him. Yes we all know that hated feeling called jealousy. Not much to say really except for the fact that when you tend to feel insecure about something, the green monster shines brighter than the Nelson Mandela bridge. It is as if he has been practicing his whole life for this one moment… “Ok I am ready… To make life complicated and moments horrible and awkward” That is exactly what it feels like. And then loan-behold you are stuck in this moment trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings but the truth of the matter is, you are sick and tired of having to share what is yours. Barney isn’t always right… surely?

Ladies and gentleman my solution to all this… drown myself is work. Always fixes stuff for me. Just focus on something else. The art of distraction as they say… But truth of it all, you cannot keep running. Sometimes you need to face this green monster and allow your own inner monster to shine even brighter… So no more running or trying to hide…

I am finishing in 2 weeks and I am scared as hell however I have worked really hard the past 3 years and I deserve to be finished. I feel proud and like I have conquered this giant hill called college. Moving on to bigger and better things…

Hope you all have an amazing week filled with accomplishments and life changing thoughts.

Ash

xxx

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