Posts Tagged ‘money’

Life is like an equation

Hey guys

I have not written in awhile because truth is I was not sure what to write or how to explain things in words. My thought and feelings seemed to have imploded instead of exploded so it was hard for me to get my thoughts out but no worries I am back and ready to give you all some insight into life itself…

I am a very big nerd at the moment. I am studying all these medical terms and maths and just nerdy stuff which is cool I won’t lie. So lets all take a trip back into maths class: When we are given an equation, what happens to the one side, has to happen to the other side. Remember those? Everything on either side of the equal side has to balance out in order for the equation to be correct and make sense. Well ladies and gentleman, welcome to your life.

When someone dies, someone else is born. When you lose blood, your body makes more. When winter comes and kills all the trees and plants, Autumn comes to restore all the colour back into our lives and make things grow again. When we break up with someone, we gain someone else and someone better. ‘Every action has a reaction’ that is what we are taught our whole life! Don’t do this, you will get that. If you hit someone, you will get hit back. Typical balancing act and that is how the world goes round.

We make sacrifices every day for the people we love. Give up something so that they can have what they need or want. Act of selflessness or just trying to rebalance things and keep them balanced?

My equation has not been balanced at the moment. I keep missing the key factor or the answer for x. The equal sign is like a magical river that reminds us that things need to equal on both ends for life to work. Now having said that, what are our life factors? Simple: FAMILY, LOVE, WORK. If one of your factors are upset or not correct, the entire equation will not equal up. You are a different person at work than what you are at home. Don’t start getting those mixed up because your family and friends are your employees and you don’t ‘own’ them.

Balancing is not an easy thing to do at all and sometimes you just feel like you can’t. Sometimes work needs to come first and sometimes family needs to come first. I now understand when I need to put things first. It is not selflessness, it is rebalancing and keeping things balanced. If the scale tipples, you will lose something. Know what you are willing to lose and what you need to keep. End of the day, money can’t buy you happiness but will keep you afloat. Just try find the balance.

Ash
xxx

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A third of the way there

Hey guys

I know I have not written in a really long time. Truth is I was not ready to write this post let alone think about what it really means. I have finished first year! A year ago I was writing about how I cannot believe I have finished school and how scared yet excited I was to go through to the next stage in my life… now here I am! I am a third of the way up this mountain that is stopping me from going out there to conquer my career.

I have never been the type of person to concentrate on a career but rather concentrate on what the career can do for people. I am studying a path that will allow me to better people in a way that everyone loves. I pamper people and at the same time, I use my pamper skills to make them feel better about themselves and boost their confidence. I was working at a big corporate office the other day and everyone told me that I am good at what I do and I should be doing physiotherapy because my hands are so strong. Right, I am happy people are looking out for me but I know where I need to be and what I need to do with my life in order to reach my full potential and help people at the same time. I might be going into an aspect of medicine but not what everyone thinks so we will see. I will keep you all posted with that.

There was a point where I was not sure that this is where I need to be but then this lady came up to me and told me that she has requested that I massage her and do her make-up from now on. Was an amazing moment for me and that is when I realized that where I am is where I need to be. Nowadays, I have spas calling me and asking me to come work for them as they have heard about me and want me. For a first year, it is an amazing accomplishment and I am really proud of myself. Having said that, I now have a reputation that I need to uphold and that is scaring me like you guys have no idea. I get my report tomorrow and I know that I have passed but I am scared that I don’t live up to everyone’s expectations and standards. Even the examiners were treating me differently to everyone else because of what they have heard about me. So it is not that I doubt myself in any shape or form! I just need to meet their expectations and I don’t want to disappoint anyone that is all.

On the upside, I have found a bunch of friends that share a common interest and goal with me. It is an amazing feeling to know that there are other weridos out there just like me in terms of education and where they want to go with their lives… 4 years ago, I had an idea of how this day would be like: I would be applying for cruise ships and all over seas work. Earn in dollars and travel the world, not much to complain about! Would have been a once in a life time but my life is not what it used to be. My mind is not set on the money and all the material things although this is an amazing industry to be in! I just cannot see myself leaving my loved ones for up to a year at a time. I would far rather stay here and work my way up and build a reputation here than to miss out on my siblings growing up and my grandparents. Life is short and you have to live each day as if it is your last so that is what I am doing. I know what is important and what isn’t and for me, family is everything.

Goals change and ideas change but a priority stays…

Long week

Hey guys

It has been a very long and hard week! I am in the middle of exams and I am nearing the end of them but the closer I got to the end, the closer to Anatomy I got. Now I am not your scholar type person. I don’t spend hour after hour studying and have no social life and so on but I do my fair share of work and I get through. Ok so about now my little sister will be telling me that I am talking absolute shit because I get high marks and I am a genius.

Truth of the matter is: my brain just gets the subjects I am getting. I listen and work in class and relate my work to things that mean a lot to me. So I relate it to memories I have of my siblings or dreams I once had and so on. When I do this, I get my work and that is my secret to my marks. I make them stick in my mind because of my frequent thoughts of my family and friends and past.

Lately, I have not been having a fun time. Life is hard and demanding and everyone is in exam brain and my brain doesn’t understand this so working is hard for me at the moment. Everyone is putting pressure on each other and in between it all I am working to get money to save up for new sound in my car or new equipment for my camera. I have not stopped and I am drained and burning out a bit I won’t lie. Only time I get quiet time with my thoughts is at night and those at the moment seem to turn into nightmares.

I dream about my work, now that is sad! and I dream that I fail. Now I am no stranger to failing. I used to fail all the time! I barely past the first few years of high school but I got my act together and started to work and well I passed matric with good marks and I got into the course I wanted to and now I am getting high marks in my future. That is beyond scary for me! I need to do well so that I don’t disappoint anyone. My whole family believes in me so much that I am afraid to disappoint them and I want to do well for me and for them. I want to make everyone proud of me and not ashamed.

I work well under pressure. I guess that is why I am able to do what I can do. All the first aid and working with pictures that people will look at for the rest of their lives as they look back on their wedding. Pressure and me are normally friends. We work hard and hard with each other but right now, having the pressure and not having memories to relate my work to… not sitting well in my brain at the moment but hey, I just have to think harder and more out the box. Nothing like a challenge to keep my brain active.

Anyway, those were my thoughts the whole of last night. My advice to you all: take a break and start looking at the good and realizing that life isn’t all about marks or money. Life is about creating memories and being there for family when they need you. End of the day, we were given our family for a reason and family isn’t only blood but is also the people we choose to be in our lives for life. Those bonds don’t happen over night. They take time and effort and they are worth more than anything else in this world.

Time to concentrate on what is important and stop focusing on the bad and less important things.

Ash
xxx

My eyes are wide open now

Hey guys

So my college took over my life for a bit but now I am back and have I got news for you…

So I seem to be getting good at this treatment giving thing. I mean, I have been chosen to work at the annual ProBeauty which is this huge convention whereby all the big brands in our beauty industry put on a show and they show off all their new products and have big sales and I am just so excited to be going there! Not only am I working there but I get to go with my lil sis and my mom as well. So it is going to be lots of fun.

Last week I was very self centred and I did not like it one bit. I put the wrong people first and that did not make me feel very nice… My lil sis decided to turn 18 and get her learners all in a space of a few days. My poor heart cannot handle so much growing up at once but I am very proud of her and she has become an astonishing woman and I am very proud to call her my little sister.

Speaking of sisters, my older two have now got a new little sister and I felt very replaced today when I saw them. I love them a lot but today I felt like I did not really know them because this other chic was going on about how she knows this and that and I’m like oh that is nice… never knew that. Anyway, it really is ok but my eyes are now open to what is important to me in my life at the moment. They still there for me and I promise you all right now that if I had to call them to come and fetch me, they really would.

My school best friend and I don’t talk at all anymore and I am ok with that to an extent. I knew this was coming deep down but I did not want it to happen. Everything happens for a reason and I believe in this 100% People come and go and a few stay. The ones that stay are the ones that will be there when you need them during the bad times not only the good. My family are the people that I need in my life and the rest can come and go. Sometimes I feel as if I am a railway station and trains come and go with new and old people but there are those few who are there always and that is all that I need in my life.

I have been out of school for 8 months now and I am starting a business and working for other people but that doesn’t satisfy me completely. What puts a smile on my face and makes me feel whole is coming home to a family that loves me and going to my lil sis and watching how excited she gets when she gets to paint my nails or plat my hair. Things like that is what makes my life worth living! Not money or how big my room is. Its my family and making people happy and that makes me very proud to be me.

My Pa always used to tell me ” At the end of the day all you really have is your name” Now this is something that he always told me and that is something that I keep with me to this day. At the end of the day, I want to think of me and say that I was good at my job because I made them happy and I want my 3 siblings to think of the good times we have and that when they needed me, I was always there. This is what is important to me and if you not ok with that, well then I am sorry but money means nothing if you don’t have someone to go shopping with.

Have a great weekend
Ash
xxx

Family is everything

Hey guys, sorry it has been so long

I have not written in a really long time. I feel like my soul does not know what has hit it because it has been so long. So we have got a lot to talk about today…

College is very hard at the moment. I have 6 weeks left of my first year. How scary is that!!!! To think that I am so close to the end of my first year, it is just ridiculous and I am not sure how I feel about it. It feels like I have just started. I cannot be out of school for nearly a year already! It is just not right. One step closer to my goal though so overall it is a good thing.

Work is fun but I am a bit bored of it now. I need the money for the Pro Beauty expo so that is keeping me motivated and I need to fix up my car and everything but my heart is more set on photography not so much giving people tenpin balls and sorting out game machines. From next year I will be working in a spa which is where I belong so I will just ride this wave out and gain experience. I have learnt how to deal with all different types of people which is good for me because I am learning how to deal with them. The longer I ride this wave out, the more experience with people I will get and the better I will do in a salon.

My social life is not like it used to be. I just don’t seem to have the time like I used to have BUT having said that, I am still there for people when they call me. At the moment all I want to do is come home and snuggle and watch a movie and just chill. How old do I sound now?? but that is the truth.

I miss my lil sis like crazy at the moment. Last week I hurt my shoulder badly and was not able to go to dancing. I count on dancing to see her and I was not able to do that. I sat in my room all miff and teary the whole night.

Now comes my life lesson to all of you… FAMILY IS EVERYTHING! I have not got the closest family. Truth of the matter is, if I had to see one of my cousins in the street, I would not have a clue who the hell it is. How sad is that!? My oupie is sick at the moment but he is strong and he is getting better but his one wish is to have all of us together once in a blue moon. Let me paint a picture for you guys… We have not been under one roof in about 7 years! Last time we were was when my Oumie got hurt and robbed. It is very sad. I used to blame myself up until a year ago. I always thought that my mom and her brothers did not speak because of me. I had a car accident in 2003 and when my uncles did not come and see if I was ok, I thought that they were all cross at me. We started to drift as a family around that time and I always thought it was because of me. I know now that it wasn’t and I was probably stupid for thinking that but us kids have weird ways of dealing with things.

Back to the issue at hand. Family life these days are not what they used to be and that is 110% our fault! We don’t seem to understand the value of family now days because we too busy worrying about other things. Take it from someone who cherishes people before money and materialistic things, we need a family so that we can grow as a person. Now your family is not only who we share the same DNA with. Family are people who are there for you when you need the. They are there to listen to you when you need to vent to someone. Family is made up of people you love and who love you back. We need that in our lives in order to stay afloat.

So learn from my family mistakes. Don’t get to the point where you have no idea who is who. All it takes is a cup of coffee once a month with your family to remind you of who you are! and where you have come from. Surely that is not a lot to ask for and believe in me, it means a lot to people.

At the end of the day, people come and go in life but your family… your family is forever! You share DNA, you share a history, you share the love of parents.

Ash
xxx