Posts Tagged ‘time’

Time Restraints

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

As the strap gets wrapped
around my fragile neck,
my heart begins to race.
WAIT! I need one more sec…

The buckle gets fastened
and my neck begins to grow.
Losing air quickly I fear.
All I want to do is say no.

Tic toc tic toc.
The time slowly tics away.
Suffocation takes over!
I am defeated… I have no say.

Nothing is no longer free.
Time controls it all.
One hour coffee here and there.
Everything is restricted, I’ve hit a wall.

I am slowly suffocating with time restraints.
I can no longer be spontaneous.
That’s what happens when you grow up.
Watch out the window… is a sure miss.

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Things change

So this is my blog post about accepting my new life…

Right here we go: 13 years ago I went to nursery school. Was one of the scariest days of my life. I had to let go of my mommy’s hand and fend for myself in the evil world of socialising and making my own friends. I was not alone though… just as I was trying to hide in the tree house, a little girl was trying to hide too. So we hid and was anti-social together. Soon after that we had our first play date and soon after that we spent every day together.

I was there when her siblings were born and when her brother was rushed to hospital because he cut his head open on a fireman’s pole. Was funny after I wont lie but during we were both scared because they were my siblings too and there was blood everywhere and wasn’t a very pretty site.

We went through school together. Junior school was interesting. Our school was a bit bigger but we still found time for our stuff. When we were in a naughty mood, we would go behind the forbidden wall and tell each other secrets. She was the first person I turned to in my time of need or when something happened. She was there when my Pa died and was one of my only friends who knew him. Mind you, she was one of the only ones he liked.

Moving on… Primary school came and we lost touch for about a month or two. Was horrible. I thought I lost my best friend but then she came back and we were inseparable again. I went through a stage in my life that I kept from her because I knew how she would feel about it. She knew the real me and believed in me. We lost touch again because I began to get in too deep and she became unknown to me. I couldn’t read her and that scared me a lot but I stayed in touch with her mom and made sure she was ok and when she was sick I would show up with a pizza or card or just be there for her.

High school came along and we became friends again and then back to best friends. With us, we always used to go back to where we left off. It is as if we were never apart. Felt good to have her back in my life and I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t lose her as a friend again because it was too painful. Up until this point, we never ever missed a birthday party of each others. One year I was violently ill but I still went to my party because I couldn’t break that tradition. I slept most of the party but that is not the point.

We had our morning rituals and still told secrets except now they were about boys instead of silk worms and dreams and goals instead of what’s for lunch. We used to sit in my room and just talk about everything and when she was going through a hard time or in hospital I was the one who was there! With my pizza and lame jokes to try make her laugh. Grade 11 and 12 we were in the same class for a subject and she designed my tattoo and we spoke about what comes after school and how we were going to keep us going. Sounded like hard work but I thought it was worth it.

December came and my lil sis wasn’t here but my BFF was. When I had a full on freak out, she was there freaking out with me to make me feel better… Then Dec came and went and she went away and when she got back, we fell apart. Plain and simple. I tried to put our plan into action but never worked and here I am, 9 nearly 10 months out of school and we missed each other’s birthdays. Not even a year has gone by and she missed mine and I have no idea if I have missed hers. Sad hey? To think that a 13 year relationship can crumble just because of location and a little bit of thought and effort is needed to stay afloat.

See this is when society and me don’t get along… Surely if someone means a lot to you, you will put in some effort and try make it work. It is not easy trust me and I know that sometimes you feel like you losing it and you tired but a few months ago, that person was your best friend and now what is she? Your ex best friend? Doesn’t work for me. If you don’t want the friendship, fine but you need to say so. You need to explain why you so bloody lazy and cannot pick up the phone once a week to ask how are you? Want to have coffee sometime… See it is not so hard. You just need to put in some effort! Technology has made our lives easy. You can BBM someone very quickly and easily or Whatsapp them. No effort needed just 5 seconds to send a message.

After some time, a person’s hand is going to get tired of waiting for you to grab it and they will eventually stop waiting… So here is my advice for all of you: Call your best friend once in a while. Let them know that you care and that they mean something to you. We all have feelings and we all need a hug every now and again so share the love guys. Friends are there when you can’t turn to your family and often your friends are your family.

I can’t say that you all are going to stay friends forever but I can tell you that effort and letting them know how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them, will make them keep their arm out a little bit longer when you let go for whatever reason. Some of us will never let go…

Ash
xxx

It’s okay

ok
By: Ashlee Zlotnick

It’s okay to be scared
of things you don’t understand.
It’s ok to feel anxious
when things don’t go your way.
It’s okay to miss someone
when they are not near.
It’s okay to feel alone,
when you with a group of people.
It’s okay to need to be alone
and have time to yourself.
It’s okay to say you need someone
and ask them to be there.
It’s okay to be weak and afraid
and need someone to protect you.
It’s okay to lose yourself for a bit
because I will always guide you back.
It’s okay… It will always be okay.

Flashback

By: Ashlee Zlotnick

Time for a flashback…
Let’s take a trip down memory lane.
This journey I do promise, is meaningful.
Take my hand and hop onto the plane.

A couple of years ago,
I was sitting with you are your event.
You promised me you would be at mine.
Obviously some promises are meant to be bent.

We danced,sung, laughed and joked
and I got to meet the girl you liked.
This dream of ours was nice
but it got a bit spiked.

two years later, it was my turn
and you were there in a way…
I had a drink for us two.
I hope your soul rests in peace where you lay.