Posts Tagged ‘Theories’

Scrambled eggs… as thoughts

Hello all my gorgeous viewers and welcome to the amazing world called my brain…

Ok, so it is not that amazing but hey, I got your attention. Right time to get down to business… I finish my diploma in 2 weeks. I cannot really say that out loud because my household or close people don’t really seem to want to talk about it. They try to, they will bring up next year or what am I going to do to celebrate but no-one really seems to want to talk about the now. How am I feeling now, what am I going to do now? The answer… I have no idea.

Next: You know that allowing little green thing that pops into your life every once in awhile at the most annoying times? The time whereby you really do not need him. Yes we all know that hated feeling called jealousy. Not much to say really except for the fact that when you tend to feel insecure about something, the green monster shines brighter than the Nelson Mandela bridge. It is as if he has been practicing his whole life for this one moment… “Ok I am ready… To make life complicated and moments horrible and awkward” That is exactly what it feels like. And then loan-behold you are stuck in this moment trying not to hurt anyone’s feelings but the truth of the matter is, you are sick and tired of having to share what is yours. Barney isn’t always right… surely?

Ladies and gentleman my solution to all this… drown myself is work. Always fixes stuff for me. Just focus on something else. The art of distraction as they say… But truth of it all, you cannot keep running. Sometimes you need to face this green monster and allow your own inner monster to shine even brighter… So no more running or trying to hide…

I am finishing in 2 weeks and I am scared as hell however I have worked really hard the past 3 years and I deserve to be finished. I feel proud and like I have conquered this giant hill called college. Moving on to bigger and better things…

Hope you all have an amazing week filled with accomplishments and life changing thoughts.

Ash

xxx

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My View On Life

I view the world in a different light to most people my age. I don’t see it as being neither a negative place nor a positive one. I view life through little girl’s eyes.

A little girl see’s life as an exquisite place where everything that is around her is perfect just the way it is. Sure not everything is the way it is meant to be however she does not know any better because she has been protected from it. A little girl only see’s the beauty and colour in things. She is aware of the negative things around her but she concentrates on the positive aspects of it. This is not only how I view life, it is also a moral of mine which I live by.

Looking outside a window and seeing a dead looking tree, I don’t see a dead tree. I see potential. Even though the tree looks sad now, in a few months the tree will have magnificent green leaves and ravishing flowers. The world and life is the same.

In the world there are many horrific aspects to it however there are also countless amounts of fantastic points to the world as well. Where there is tragedy in one part of the world, there is hope on the other side. When one person unfortunately dies, another life is being born. This is the cycle of life and we can’t change it.

I have gone through many horrible things in my life such as death to family members and friends. Both my grandmother’s have had cancer but survived it and are stronger as ever. Sure those who I have lost are not here with me physically but they will always live on in my heart and memories.

If we had to go through life only seeing the bad things, the world will be grey and depressing but if we look at it with colour and see the good in people then life will be very eventful and a colourful journey.

So the next time you look at the world and life, look at it through a little girl’s eyes and not through a negative view.

Passion

PASSION

What is passion? The dictionary definition is a strong and barely controllable emotion.  Passion I feel is something that you as a human cannot decide whether you want it or not, it is uncontrollable however the spark lies within ones self. It all starts with an interest:

I have danced my whole life and I did it cause at the beginning it interested me, it fascinated me. I was only 2 when I started to dance. From there when I started to get older I started to feel something I wasn’t yet familiar with. When I danced I was only feeling one emotion and that was a love for dance. Now a love for something and passion for it are too completely different thing. For me at the time I loved doing modern and hip hop. It gave me time to myself and time to forget about everything else but it wasn’t passionate about it. I got bored with it and soon I began to hate it. That’s the difference between a love for something and a passion. One who has a love for something or someone enjoys what they are doing or who they with. But you subconsciously have a voice telling you something is wrong. When you talk about that love, people can hear you love it but not full heartedly. I thought I would never find passion because I mean dancing was the one thing I was good at and yet I dreaded the days I had to go. Don’t ever think that you can never find that one thing as well as that one person who is your passion. Your emotion you can’t control.

I stopped modern and hip hop and I thought that was it my life was over, what would I do without dance? Little did I know that my whole world was going to be completely re-altered.  Monday afternoon came and it was my first ballroom lesson. I have always watched movies and saw people doing a tango or a rumba and I found it very interesting. My teacher took hold and we slowly started to move. 1,2,3 1,2,3 and before I knew it we were doing a Waltz. I thought to myself ok this could be fun. The lesson ended and I couldn’t help but feel upset cause it was over. Soon enough I learned 10 dances in 4 months. I soon learned that I have a passion for Ballroom and Latin American and I knew it was a passion because when I dance I don’t just dance I have an unexplainable feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I dance it is as if the whole world just stops and it is just my partner and I who are moving. I forget about all the bad things and the good things and don’t think. I just move my feet and dance from my soul.  I go to sleep at night wishing that life was a dance. You see at a contest no-one collides with each other and it is the most beautiful thing to watch. Can you imagine a life where it was only smooth and every one knew that they could make a mistake but you carry on like you know exactly what you were doing. However when you do make a mistake you carry on and if you are enjoying what you are doing then there is no problem. My teacher today tells me that when I dance I don’t move my feet and body in a pattern, I dance from my soul and that shows when I dance.

Every person can find their passion, they can find their “soul dance”. You just have to look hard and when you have an interest in something, you must follow that feeling because you never know where that feeling will lead you to.